Childhood and adulthood were not factors of age but states of mind.

This week I celebrated my 21st birthday. Holy cow. Can you believe it? I certainly can't!

Every year I seem to get emotional on my birthday. It's not that I'm sad about growing up, though that may certainly be part of it. I think the emotions are more of a combination of excitement and fear and anxiety and happiness and sadness. That makes total sense, right? You may say that I have no right to feel some of those emotions about turning just 21, but I do! I feel them every single year. There's just something about growing up and leaving another year behind and entering a new year in my life that just gives me butterflies and a pit in my stomach all at the same time. I know, I'm overly-emotional; it's just who I am!

For the most part, though, I'm SO excited to be 21! It's a number that means something. In a way it says "I'm finally an adult," but also, "You're still young and have a lot to learn." And I'm perfectly okay with that combination of sentiments. I do feel myself getting more mature and growing up a little bit, though I've always felt pretty mature—maybe it's my old soul. But I also feel like I have the whole world in front of me. There are so many possibilities ahead! I could take this path or that one or one of these over here or one of those over there. Endless possibilities, each one as amazing and exciting as the next. And it's so comforting to know that no matter which I choose, my life will be full of excitement and experience and learning and love.

People are their most beautiful when they are laughing, crying, dancing, playing, telling the truth, and being chased in a fun way.

This weekend I laughed really, really hard, and it was so great. Not that this is unusual because I really do laugh a lot. I laugh often because I surround myself with joyful, funny people who make me laugh because I think laughter and joy and happiness are so important. Plus, I'm pretty funny myself, and I've been known to crack myself up. Ask anyone.

But this weekend my laughter came from a slightly different place than usual. This weekend my mom and I went to see The Book of Mormon at the newly reopened Hancher Auditorium here in Iowa City. First of all, Hancher is gorgeous. Walking up to it that night, it was all sparkly and lit up, and the moon was huge behind it.

We got inside and sat in our seats and enjoyed some prime people watching. And then, it began. It. was. hysterical. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past.

Move in day freshman year of college was the worst day of my life. I knew that day, and the days leading up to it, that it would be one of the biggest changes of my life, and I have never been very fond of change. I loathe it, I dread it, I hate it. Change is the worst.

Well, that's how I used to feel. I'm still not a huge fan of change, but I've come to appreciate it more than I used to. I now think that, sometimes, change can be good.

When I first got to school, people kept talking about how much I was going to change in the next four years. I would change, people would change, my thoughts and opinions would change, my relationships would change, everything would change. And I didn't want that to happen. I was very happy with the way things were, thank you very much.

We are always the same age inside.

Calvin and I meet for the first time.

The end of January is a popular time for birthdays in my family. My birthday is January 23, and my nephew, Calvin, was born on January 27 last year. That’s right, my baby nephew turns one today.

Watching Calvin grow and learn and change this past year really got me thinking about age and growing up in general. Every time I see him, he has changed in some way, and it makes me kind of sad inside. I don’t want him to grow up! I love him just the way he is right now.

The thing is, I say that to myself every time I see him. I wanted him to stay a tiny newborn forever so that I could always hold him close and in my arms. Then he started to smile, and I thought, “Okay, he can stay this age so that I can watch his little baby face smile forever.” Then he learned to laugh and then sit up and then babble and then crawl. And I always thought, “Wow, he just keeps getting better. But I want him to stay exactly like this, the way he is now.”