I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.

Wow, it feels good to be back! As you probably noticed, I haven't written for the blog in quite a while. In fact, it's been about two months since my last post. To be honest, I didn't feel the most inspired and creative this summer. I was working full time and usually wanted to do absolutely nothing when I got home at the end of the day. I know I'm going to have to get over that soon, as I'll be (hopefully) working full time after graduation in a few months, but for now I'm glad to headed back to school soon!

I wrapped up my summer internship at the Greater Des Moines Partnership on Tuesday, August 8 and had a lot of mixed feelings about being done. The experience wasn't necessarily what I thought or hoped it would be, but I still learned a lot and met amazing people and worked on incredible projects while I was there. I'm very grateful for the opportunity I had to work there this summer.

I think one of the main reasons I was a little bummed during the first few weeks of my internship is that I missed nannying! I missed my kiddos and hanging out with them every day and doing fun kid things and just having a fun summer with them. Ok, that bummed me out the whole summer and still does. I just really loved nannying and would honestly do it my whole life! But as Mary Poppins knows so well, kids grow up and don't need their nannies forever. I absolutely loved the three summers I spent with the Niggs and would not trade them for anything at all. I'm incredibly excited that I get to see my good ol' nanny kids before I head to school, so we'll get to catch up on everything just like old times.

Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can tell.

Yes, this was the title of my last post, and it's a phrase that's been on repeat in my head lately {and not just because I've been listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack on repeat for the last few weeks}. I've really been feeling a sense of wanderlust and craving for adventure lately, and the feeling just won't go away {nor do I want it to!}.

The last few nights, I've laid awake in bed just thinking about all of the things I want to do in my life. I want to travel and explore and experience the world in so many different ways.

Honestly, I think Beauty and the Beast is part of the reason I've been feeling this way. It may sound silly, but that movie just really got me thinking about adventure in the great wide somewhere! I really relate to Belle and her longing for grand experiences. It's not that I'm unhappy or stuck where I am; I've never really felt that way at all. I absolutely love where I am and where I come from, but I really want to experience new and exciting places.

People are their most beautiful when they are laughing, crying, dancing, playing, telling the truth, and being chased in a fun way.

This weekend I laughed really, really hard, and it was so great. Not that this is unusual because I really do laugh a lot. I laugh often because I surround myself with joyful, funny people who make me laugh because I think laughter and joy and happiness are so important. Plus, I'm pretty funny myself, and I've been known to crack myself up. Ask anyone.

But this weekend my laughter came from a slightly different place than usual. This weekend my mom and I went to see The Book of Mormon at the newly reopened Hancher Auditorium here in Iowa City. First of all, Hancher is gorgeous. Walking up to it that night, it was all sparkly and lit up, and the moon was huge behind it.

We got inside and sat in our seats and enjoyed some prime people watching. And then, it began. It. was. hysterical. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past.

Move in day freshman year of college was the worst day of my life. I knew that day, and the days leading up to it, that it would be one of the biggest changes of my life, and I have never been very fond of change. I loathe it, I dread it, I hate it. Change is the worst.

Well, that's how I used to feel. I'm still not a huge fan of change, but I've come to appreciate it more than I used to. I now think that, sometimes, change can be good.

When I first got to school, people kept talking about how much I was going to change in the next four years. I would change, people would change, my thoughts and opinions would change, my relationships would change, everything would change. And I didn't want that to happen. I was very happy with the way things were, thank you very much.

You only grow by coming to the end of something and by beginning something else.

Sunday I moved back to Iowa City, and that day marked a day of a lot of things. It marked beginnings and endings alike.

It marked the end of a great summer.

This summer was such a great one. I spent every day with awesome kiddos. It was my third summer nannying for the Nigg family, so at this point, it didn't even really feel like work. It felt like hanging out with friends or even siblings. And we did some fun stuff! We went to movies and Living History Farms, swimming and hiking, and just hung out. This was most likely my last summer with the Niggs, and it was a great last one to have with them.

I also went on an amazing trip to NYC this summer in case you didn't know! It was full of fun sightseeing, an amazing conference, and quality time with new friends. I couldn't have asked for a better trip. Fingers crossed I can attend the conference next summer!

Why can't people just sit and read books and be nice to each other?

The first read for my summer book club is Me Before You, by Jojo Moyes!

It's summer break, which means it's time for my annual summer book club! This is the third year that I have held my book club, and every year it just seems to get better and better.

I first decided to form my book club the summer after my senior year of high school as a sort of last hurrah for me and my friends before we all left for college that fall. I've always loved to read, so I thought book club would be a fun way to connect with my friends before we all went our separate ways.

Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together.

I've always loved being at home. I love hanging out with my family and just being together.

Coming to school last year was really hard. I remember the day I moved in, and honestly, it was probably one of the worst days of my life. To me moving away to school meant that I was leaving home for good, that I would never live at home again. To some this probably sounds amazing, but to me, it was devastating.

After a few days, especially once classes started, I got into a schedule and started to feel better. But I still longed to be at home and with my family.

I still get homesick sometimes. This week, even, I've been missing home a little more than usual.

After almost two years of school under my belt, I've come up with a few things that help me when I'm missing home a little extra.

Call home
Whenever I'm feeling homesick, I make a phonemail home. I usually talk to my mom a lot throughout the week, but when I'm missing home, I give her an extra call. And she always knows just what to say. After talking things through with Mom, I always seem to feel a little better.

Do something familiar
I find that when I'm missing home, doing something that reminds me of home helps. Whether it's watching one of my family's favorite shows on Netflix or reading one of my favorite books, doing something that brings back those homey feelings helps me work my way out of my funk.

Stay busy
Like I said before, once I got into a schedule with classes and student orgs, I didn't really have time to dwell on my feelings of homesickness. By getting involved, you also open yourself up to meet more people and make more friends. Plus, getting involved helps you to get excited about something, so that excitement helps take the focus off of sad feelings.