I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

Childhood and adulthood were not factors of age but states of mind.

This week I celebrated my 21st birthday. Holy cow. Can you believe it? I certainly can't!

Every year I seem to get emotional on my birthday. It's not that I'm sad about growing up, though that may certainly be part of it. I think the emotions are more of a combination of excitement and fear and anxiety and happiness and sadness. That makes total sense, right? You may say that I have no right to feel some of those emotions about turning just 21, but I do! I feel them every single year. There's just something about growing up and leaving another year behind and entering a new year in my life that just gives me butterflies and a pit in my stomach all at the same time. I know, I'm overly-emotional; it's just who I am!

For the most part, though, I'm SO excited to be 21! It's a number that means something. In a way it says "I'm finally an adult," but also, "You're still young and have a lot to learn." And I'm perfectly okay with that combination of sentiments. I do feel myself getting more mature and growing up a little bit, though I've always felt pretty mature—maybe it's my old soul. But I also feel like I have the whole world in front of me. There are so many possibilities ahead! I could take this path or that one or one of these over here or one of those over there. Endless possibilities, each one as amazing and exciting as the next. And it's so comforting to know that no matter which I choose, my life will be full of excitement and experience and learning and love.

We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.

My first blog post here on sarahndipity was January 6, 2016, and it was all about my resolutions for 2016. It was a great way to start off my blog, and it's been so fun to write my way through the year. Now, however, it's a brand new year! New resolutions are in order.

Everyone has a different take on resolutions. Some swear by them and make them every year while others don't even like the idea. When I was younger, I always made resolutions, simply because I thought that's what you were supposed to do for the New Year. However, I never really took the time to understand what resolutions really were or why people were making them.

I've decided that I love the idea of resolutions. Some people say they don't like resolutions because we should work on bettering ourselves throughout the year. I totally agree! However, I think there's something so magical about the New Year, a time when we feel fresh and new and as though we have a chance at a fresh start. Resolutions are things we can work on throughout the year. If you think of a new resolution in June, there's no reason to start working on that right then in June! We don't have to wait until December 31 and January 1 to think of resolutions and begin them, but this is the prime time to make these changes!

Reflect upon your present blessings—of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

2016 was...interesting, to say the least. Many people hated 2016; granted, a lot of negative things did happen this year. A large number of influencers and artists passed away, an election divided our country, and violence and hate continued to tear our world apart. I'm not going to try to sugarcoat it: it was a tough year for a lot of people. But I've never been one to focus on the negative. I always try to see the positive, especially in difficult situations, so I'm looking back at the positive highlights of my own 2016.

—To start 2016, I started this blog! It's been so much fun to do, and I have some great projects in the works for the new year.

—My nephew and godson turned one, and I got to spend another incredible year watching him grow and learn. He also said my name for the first time this year (both as "Rah-Rah" and as "Sarah")!

—I got to go on two amazing trips to New York City. The first was in April with Ed on Campus during which we visited a number of magazines and got to visit with editors. The second was in July for Her Conference, which featured great speakers and workshops. During this trip I also bonded with three Her Campus Iowa girls, and they are now some of my best friends.

We are always the same age inside.

Calvin and I meet for the first time.

The end of January is a popular time for birthdays in my family. My birthday is January 23, and my nephew, Calvin, was born on January 27 last year. That’s right, my baby nephew turns one today.

Watching Calvin grow and learn and change this past year really got me thinking about age and growing up in general. Every time I see him, he has changed in some way, and it makes me kind of sad inside. I don’t want him to grow up! I love him just the way he is right now.

The thing is, I say that to myself every time I see him. I wanted him to stay a tiny newborn forever so that I could always hold him close and in my arms. Then he started to smile, and I thought, “Okay, he can stay this age so that I can watch his little baby face smile forever.” Then he learned to laugh and then sit up and then babble and then crawl. And I always thought, “Wow, he just keeps getting better. But I want him to stay exactly like this, the way he is now.”