I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can tell.

Yes, this was the title of my last post, and it's a phrase that's been on repeat in my head lately {and not just because I've been listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack on repeat for the last few weeks}. I've really been feeling a sense of wanderlust and craving for adventure lately, and the feeling just won't go away {nor do I want it to!}.

The last few nights, I've laid awake in bed just thinking about all of the things I want to do in my life. I want to travel and explore and experience the world in so many different ways.

Honestly, I think Beauty and the Beast is part of the reason I've been feeling this way. It may sound silly, but that movie just really got me thinking about adventure in the great wide somewhere! I really relate to Belle and her longing for grand experiences. It's not that I'm unhappy or stuck where I am; I've never really felt that way at all. I absolutely love where I am and where I come from, but I really want to experience new and exciting places.