I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.

Wow, it feels good to be back! As you probably noticed, I haven't written for the blog in quite a while. In fact, it's been about two months since my last post. To be honest, I didn't feel the most inspired and creative this summer. I was working full time and usually wanted to do absolutely nothing when I got home at the end of the day. I know I'm going to have to get over that soon, as I'll be (hopefully) working full time after graduation in a few months, but for now I'm glad to headed back to school soon!

I wrapped up my summer internship at the Greater Des Moines Partnership on Tuesday, August 8 and had a lot of mixed feelings about being done. The experience wasn't necessarily what I thought or hoped it would be, but I still learned a lot and met amazing people and worked on incredible projects while I was there. I'm very grateful for the opportunity I had to work there this summer.

I think one of the main reasons I was a little bummed during the first few weeks of my internship is that I missed nannying! I missed my kiddos and hanging out with them every day and doing fun kid things and just having a fun summer with them. Ok, that bummed me out the whole summer and still does. I just really loved nannying and would honestly do it my whole life! But as Mary Poppins knows so well, kids grow up and don't need their nannies forever. I absolutely loved the three summers I spent with the Niggs and would not trade them for anything at all. I'm incredibly excited that I get to see my good ol' nanny kids before I head to school, so we'll get to catch up on everything just like old times.

Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together.

I've always loved being at home. I love hanging out with my family and just being together.

Coming to school last year was really hard. I remember the day I moved in, and honestly, it was probably one of the worst days of my life. To me moving away to school meant that I was leaving home for good, that I would never live at home again. To some this probably sounds amazing, but to me, it was devastating.

After a few days, especially once classes started, I got into a schedule and started to feel better. But I still longed to be at home and with my family.

I still get homesick sometimes. This week, even, I've been missing home a little more than usual.

After almost two years of school under my belt, I've come up with a few things that help me when I'm missing home a little extra.

Call home
Whenever I'm feeling homesick, I make a phonemail home. I usually talk to my mom a lot throughout the week, but when I'm missing home, I give her an extra call. And she always knows just what to say. After talking things through with Mom, I always seem to feel a little better.

Do something familiar
I find that when I'm missing home, doing something that reminds me of home helps. Whether it's watching one of my family's favorite shows on Netflix or reading one of my favorite books, doing something that brings back those homey feelings helps me work my way out of my funk.

Stay busy
Like I said before, once I got into a schedule with classes and student orgs, I didn't really have time to dwell on my feelings of homesickness. By getting involved, you also open yourself up to meet more people and make more friends. Plus, getting involved helps you to get excited about something, so that excitement helps take the focus off of sad feelings.

Go forth and do well. But, more importantly, go forth and do good.

I've always loved the idea of doing good things, and I try really hard in my daily life to actually do good things.

In high school I was a part of an organization called RAK, which stands for Random Acts of Kindness and Rachel's Ambassador Klub. We did various service activities and volunteer projects. Being involved in RAK really triggered my interest in service and volunteering and just plain old kindness. It became one of my biggest passions and my number one goal to be kind.

I started thinking about ways I could incorporate this newfound passion into my future. I knew there would always be opportunities to be kind and volunteer my time, but I wanted to make a career out of it. I wanted to be kind full-time and promote the idea of being kind to everyone I could.