I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.

Wow, it feels good to be back! As you probably noticed, I haven't written for the blog in quite a while. In fact, it's been about two months since my last post. To be honest, I didn't feel the most inspired and creative this summer. I was working full time and usually wanted to do absolutely nothing when I got home at the end of the day. I know I'm going to have to get over that soon, as I'll be (hopefully) working full time after graduation in a few months, but for now I'm glad to headed back to school soon!

I wrapped up my summer internship at the Greater Des Moines Partnership on Tuesday, August 8 and had a lot of mixed feelings about being done. The experience wasn't necessarily what I thought or hoped it would be, but I still learned a lot and met amazing people and worked on incredible projects while I was there. I'm very grateful for the opportunity I had to work there this summer.

I think one of the main reasons I was a little bummed during the first few weeks of my internship is that I missed nannying! I missed my kiddos and hanging out with them every day and doing fun kid things and just having a fun summer with them. Ok, that bummed me out the whole summer and still does. I just really loved nannying and would honestly do it my whole life! But as Mary Poppins knows so well, kids grow up and don't need their nannies forever. I absolutely loved the three summers I spent with the Niggs and would not trade them for anything at all. I'm incredibly excited that I get to see my good ol' nanny kids before I head to school, so we'll get to catch up on everything just like old times.

Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can tell.

Yes, this was the title of my last post, and it's a phrase that's been on repeat in my head lately {and not just because I've been listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack on repeat for the last few weeks}. I've really been feeling a sense of wanderlust and craving for adventure lately, and the feeling just won't go away {nor do I want it to!}.

The last few nights, I've laid awake in bed just thinking about all of the things I want to do in my life. I want to travel and explore and experience the world in so many different ways.

Honestly, I think Beauty and the Beast is part of the reason I've been feeling this way. It may sound silly, but that movie just really got me thinking about adventure in the great wide somewhere! I really relate to Belle and her longing for grand experiences. It's not that I'm unhappy or stuck where I am; I've never really felt that way at all. I absolutely love where I am and where I come from, but I really want to experience new and exciting places.

How wild it was, to let it be.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom and my sister and I went to see Cheryl Strayed speak. Cheryl Strayed is a writer and the author of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, which is about her experience hiking the PCT. I loved Wild when I read it, but after I heard Cheryl speak, I discovered I relate to her even more than I had previously realized.

Cheryl decided to hike the PCT a couple of years after her mother died. In those years between when her mother passed and when she hiked the PCT, Cheryl's life kind of spiraled out of control. She cheated on her husband, used drugs, and just lived a life she wasn't happy with. As Cheryl put it in her talk, she had decided to continue her life after her mother died in a way that would best honor her. She had decided not to thrive because she couldn't bear the thought of living without her.

Cheryl's absolute love for her mother in as portrayed in Wild is something that I so deeply connected to when I read the book. Simply put: I absolutely love my mother and can't imagine how I would go on without her. Without her mother, Cheryl is simply broken, and I would be the same way if I were to lose my mother.

A balanced diet is an ice cream in each hand.

I try really hard in my daily life to make healthy choices. I take the stairs instead of the elevator.  I walk to class instead of taking the bus. I snack on Triscuits instead of potato chips in class. Of course there is more to being healthy than doing these small things, but these small things are really important, especially as a starting point.

You might be asking yourself why on earth I am writing about health and fitness. Trust me, I feel the same way. What do I know about it? Well, not much, I will admit that. But I know that I'm someone who is trying to make good choices when it comes to being healthy, and I think that's all any of us can do.