I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things.

It really bugs me when I ask someone how they are, and they respond, "I'm so busy." It really, really irritates me when people use, "I can't. I'm so busy," as an excuse not to do something. Look around you: everyone is busy. That busy-ness you're feeling? It's called life. And just because someone else's busy doesn't look like your busy doesn't mean they aren't busy.

College is a busy time: we're going to class, doing homework, writing papers, studying for tests, staying involved in student organizations, maintaining our social lives, working, eating, sleeping, surviving. Yes, college is a busy time, but that's part of what makes it so fun. It's such an amazing opportunity to try new things and meet new people and create who we want to be.

There's no such thing as being too busy. First of all, if you want something, you'll make time for it. Second of all, it's all about priorities.

Why can't people just sit and read books and be nice to each other?

The first read for my summer book club is Me Before You, by Jojo Moyes!

It's summer break, which means it's time for my annual summer book club! This is the third year that I have held my book club, and every year it just seems to get better and better.

I first decided to form my book club the summer after my senior year of high school as a sort of last hurrah for me and my friends before we all left for college that fall. I've always loved to read, so I thought book club would be a fun way to connect with my friends before we all went our separate ways.

You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.

I have a love-hate relationship with the word shy. And with the word introvert. And with the words quiet and wallflower. Though people usually use these words to describe me, they sometimes use them without knowing what they really mean. So I thought I would clear a few things up about these words, particularly in the way they apply to me.

I'm the first person to admit that I am shy or an introvert. As I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago, I prefer to step back and listen and observe rather than jump in and speak all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'll speak up when I have something to say or when I want to be heard, but most of the time I prefer to take it all in.

Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.

Who doesn't love a little time off? This week I am home for spring break, and it's been so nice to just sit back and relax.

While a lot of other people my age are on a beach somewhere warm, I'm sitting at home, and I don't really mind at all. Although it would be nice to sit on a beach with a nice book while getting a nice, even tan (blotchy, red sunburn), I like sitting at home catching up on my favorite shows and indulging in a good book or two.

So far this break, I haven't really done much, and that's fine by me. After two months of going nonstop, it's been nice to stop and just be. Instead of rushing to classes and holing up to write papers and articles, I've gotten to just sit and watch TV or read.