And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been

I’ve always liked the idea of making resolutions to start off the new year. It’s a way of turning the page and starting anew. But I don’t think January 1 is the only time of year to make plans and set goals for ourselves. I’m a big fan of starting fresh when you say you’re ready to, whether that’s on January 1 or June 21.

Usually my New Year’s Resolutions are pretty vague and very general and generally unattainable. This year I wanted to be sure to make resolutions I would actually stick to, ones that would actually make me happy and proud of myself. I also made a promise to myself to revisit my resolutions on the first of every month to check in and see how I’m doing with each of them. March 1 is here, and it’s time to sit down and evaluate where I’m at with my resolutions, now two months into 2019.

I told you so you’d see how this whole world was made for you, how it warms when you smile and aches when you hurt. I told you so you could stop being afraid.

I graduated from the University of Iowa with a Journalism & Mass Communication major, English minor, and Fundraising & Philanthropy Communication certificate last month! Commencement was on December 16, 2017, which means I've officially been unemployed for one month today. Yay!

In all honesty, this is such a confusing time in my life. I've never experienced such boredom and relaxation, fear and anxiety, or just overall uncertainty. From one day to the next, I experience such a range of feelings and emotions. One day I'm totally relaxed and enjoying this period of rest and time off, and the next I feel like such a failure for not having found a job yet. Plus a variety of other feelings in between. Through it all, I'm just trying to stay optimistic!

Over the holidays, it was nice to kind of kick back and not worry about not having a job because I was enjoying time at home with my family. But now that I'm back in Iowa City, Ik now I need to stay focused and productive. I spend my Mondays and Wednesdays at my internship for the Iowa City UNESCO City of Literature and the other three weekdays browsing jobs online and following up with previous applications I've submitted. I try to give myself a break on the weekends, but I still find my mind wandering and uneasy, my fingers itching for my laptop to look for more jobs to apply. No matter how much I search or how long I look, I still feel like I'm not being productive enough, and nothing will be enough until I actually find a job.

For Las Vegas

I am tired.

I am so tired of waking up to the kind of news I woke up to this morning. I am tired of watching people do bad things in our world. I am tired of becoming used to this.

This morning on the radio, one of the cast members said something along the lines of, "I hope this is the last straw for you." And I cannot help but agree. I hope you are as fed up with these kinds of tragedies as I am. I hope this is the one to finally break you down and make you take action.

Around me today, people are going about their lives as if nothing has happened. As if 58 people haven't lost their lives and 500+ more aren't wounded in the hospital. How have we become numb to this kind of thing? When did it get to the point that another shooting happens, and all that comes out of it is a couple of days of angry tweeting and Facebook article sharing? It's not right. It's just not right, and I won't accept it.

I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.

Wow, it feels good to be back! As you probably noticed, I haven't written for the blog in quite a while. In fact, it's been about two months since my last post. To be honest, I didn't feel the most inspired and creative this summer. I was working full time and usually wanted to do absolutely nothing when I got home at the end of the day. I know I'm going to have to get over that soon, as I'll be (hopefully) working full time after graduation in a few months, but for now I'm glad to headed back to school soon!

I wrapped up my summer internship at the Greater Des Moines Partnership on Tuesday, August 8 and had a lot of mixed feelings about being done. The experience wasn't necessarily what I thought or hoped it would be, but I still learned a lot and met amazing people and worked on incredible projects while I was there. I'm very grateful for the opportunity I had to work there this summer.

I think one of the main reasons I was a little bummed during the first few weeks of my internship is that I missed nannying! I missed my kiddos and hanging out with them every day and doing fun kid things and just having a fun summer with them. Ok, that bummed me out the whole summer and still does. I just really loved nannying and would honestly do it my whole life! But as Mary Poppins knows so well, kids grow up and don't need their nannies forever. I absolutely loved the three summers I spent with the Niggs and would not trade them for anything at all. I'm incredibly excited that I get to see my good ol' nanny kids before I head to school, so we'll get to catch up on everything just like old times.